New Verb!

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As of January 30th squirreling will be adopted in the dictionary as the single only verb to be used. This adjustment will be worldwide and will be in effect at 12:01 in each time zone. The English language was getting much too complicated. To help you with the adjustment, a student was asked to describe his day to Golden Words in the new proper English:

‘I squirreled my way out of bed and squirreled off my alarm, trying not to squirrel the (human) girl asleep beside me.  I squirreled my jeans and sweater on, squirreled down the stairs and squirreled myself a piece of toast. As I squirreled I started squirreling about how badly I had squirrelled myself over last night by squirreling around instead of squirreling for my test. I squirreled to stop squirreling and squirreled the caffeine squirreling its way into my system.

I squirreled to class and squirrelled to only squirrel once on the ice, but as a squirreled down onto a lecture seat I squirreled that I squirreled a nice bruise on my behind from the fall. I squirreled hi to my friends Mac and Tosh and then squirreled to the prof who squirreled squirreling about the importance of squirreling the right type of media- this squirrel what I squirreled to squirrel out of bed for? Bull. I squirreled to squirrel hungry and dozy during my next class, squirrelled asleep for a bit. The next five hours squirrelled a blur of knowledge, and thankfully I squirrel squirreled class for the day.

I squirreled to the gym and squirrelled many pounds of heavy lifts in order to squirrel the people around me, then squirrelled back to my house. I squirreled myself some cereal because I never squirreled how to cook- don’t squirrel people- then squirreled some homework before squirreling some Netflix. By then it squirreled about 12 so I squirreled I squirrel squirrel into bed before squirreling it all again tomorrow.’

This change to the english language will be beneficial to all and will lift many language barriers currently experienced by many around the world as we are becoming more and more globalized. This was described by the leading political party who passed this new adjustment to the dictionary as the ‘Law of unification’, dubbed ‘Law of squirrelification’. If you do not abide by the new vocabulary you will be fined an undisclosed amount and therefore it is strongly recommended you start studying this new-age English. You have 3 days, so as they say, squirrel on.

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