Why is the world purposely confusing when it doesn’t have to be? I smile and turn the other cheek for some things, e’s before i’s that aren’t after c’s (it’s weird), toe socks, trees that have red leaves in the summer, toe socks … But some things are too fucking much. I can pretend that the world is okay but then these things exist:
1)     Shepherd’s Pie. Why is Shepherd’s Pie called Shepherd’s Pie? What aspect about it is at all pie like? There is no pie crust, there is no true pie like filling, and where is the Shepherd?!  We’re not eating the Shepherd, there is no sheep… Did someone just throw random shit in a pot and want to feel fancy, so they called it pie? It should just be called Farmy Slop because then everyone would know what they’re getting in to.
2)     Blue Raspberry. Why should this be a flavour? What does this flavour even taste like? Firstly, there are blue fruits: why not have the flavour be blueberry! Secondly, if one of the red fruits had to converted to blue, at least make it one of the lame red fruits. What’s wrong with blue tomato flavour?
3)  The colour pink. It isn’t in the rainbow. Why should it be anywhere else?
4)     Rat dogs. A dog that is less than 15 lbs is not a dog, it is a rat dog. And it’s purpose? There is no purpose. It can’t guard, you can’t play with it, you might even step on it. So why? What was it bred for? People spent time on selective breeding for rat dogs.
5)  The word orange. Why would only one word have that ending? People can physically say it, so why not use it? What was so special about it that it needed it’s own hierarchy of rhyme scheme?
6)     Toe socks. Okay, maybe I can’t just smile and let this one go. Why do they exist? Why do people think that their toes should be segregated? Toes are a family on your foot and they shouldn’t be confined to tight uncomfortable cloth domes that never even seem to fit the pinky toe. The small toe is always left feeling inadequate and alone. It has no home, no family, no love… just sadness.