Post 4/20, Local 7-Year-Olds Too Stoned to Compete in Easter Egg Hunt


KINGSTON – A group of local 1st graders sat out of the Parish Egg Hunt this year, after reportedly being too stoned from the previous day’s festivities. The 7-year-olds stayed home instead, eating through the rest of last year’s egg stash and some of Kyle’s leftover buds.

Penelope, age 7, explained how none of the gang felt like going to church that day. “After the hotbox last night, I am really feeling zonked this morning. Jesus might’ve risen after three days, but I feel like I’m gonna need at least a week to work off this weed hangover”. When Golden Words Reporters asked where she got the weed, Penelope accused us of being narcs.