Professor Jesus Fired for Breaking Laws of Physics

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“Whatever, fuck you guys”
After witnesses reported Jesus walking on water (painted entirely purple) towards the pier while unsanctioned drinking was occurring there, the Physics department and other administration at Queen’s University have decided it was time for him to go. 
“Really, we’re trying to teach these fundamental Laws of the Universe to students and several times Professor Jesus would simply break the Laws of Physics, leading many young bright students to question the purpose of their lives and area of study,” said a professor who asked not to be named. 
Jesus declined to comment, sipping on a water fountain that seemed to be turning mysteriously purple. 
One frosh reported that Professor Jesus yelled “Yeah bitch, I’m walking on water, but I could be walking on wine if y’all want.” 
When many of them screamed in fear, he replied
“Shut up, at least I’m not my father, turning rivers into blood and shit.”

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