THE ARC: After years of intense lobbying by the Slap Cup community, Queen’s University has finally given in to the demands of the people and decided that 2016-2017 will see the debut of the Slap Cup intramural league. There will be two tiers.
In a topic of much debate, the school reportedly decided that they would not uphold any free for all last-man-standing style of game. The school would rather have games split between two teams who worked together to absolutely trash the opposing team. Thankfully, the after an intense 6 hour debate the school decided to keep the death cup – each team will get points when the other team has to down it.
Expert Analysts at Golden Words believe this new development is an important precedent on the path towards making Queen’s the most “lit”. Studies have shown that in recent years Queen’s has begun to fall behind other louder, more belligerent schools like McGill, which already has the benefit of an 18 year drinking age. If Queen’s is hoping to compete with schools like McGill, it will likely have to do more than just adding Slap Cup as an intramural.
Golden Words believes students should expect to see all kinds of exciting new alcoholic events in the future of Queen’s. Experts suggest events such as “ride the bus” at the bus stop on west campus and “chug the mickey” races on Sundays at Club Stauff would effectively boost student morale and also enhance student litness.
Perhaps the most exciting element of school sanctioned alcoholism is the endless new drinking games that may be developed by innovative members of the Queen’s Community. Queen’s University will essentially become a research capital of Canada for Drinking innovation if everyone can play their cards correctly. It all starts with Slap Cup, but this is just the beginning. Brace yourselves students, because the possibilities are endless.