Queen’sU Sorting Hat


Some people like to compare Queen’s University to Hogwarts. We have a castle, our buildings are old as hell and we have our own Quidditch team. But, where the fuck are our houses? Never fear, Golden Words is here to play the part of the Sorting Hat.

Here’s a summary of what each house means, then through our super complicated method and the help of mathemagics, you will be sorted by your major.


You’re self-righteous and party all of the time. You’re very social and are part of several extracurriculars, but you need to focus more on school. Do some fucking work for once, you’re not the brightest.


You were smart enough to get into Queen’s but have fallen short of all expectations. You’re a disappointment to your family and will never amount to anything. Don’t listen to people who tell you otherwise.


You are one of the few who continue to get good grades in university. Your transcript is on point and you’re going places in life. Your downside: you’re absolutely no fucking fun. Loosen the fuck up!


Ambitious and intelligent. You’re in a difficult program and you know it. You will most likely have a successful career but will continue to bitch and complain along the way. You need to learn to not be such a condescending fuck. Be confident, not cocky.  

P.S. No one gives a shit if “your father will hear about this.”


So now it’s time to put on the Golden Words Sorting Hat and find out how inadequate you are!



  • Physical Education and Kinesiology
  • Music
  • Fine Arts
  • Mining Engineering


  •  Arts



  • Computer Science
  • Medicine
  • Law
  • Science


  •  Engineering (not mining, sorry guys)


Now, Golden Words had a very difficult time sorting the Nurses and Commerce students into a house, so after further use of Google and magic we have decided to sort the Nurses into Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. The Commies, unfortunately, have held onto “basic” ways of working and have been determined by the Golden Words High Court of Magic to be “Muggles”.