Recent Unfinished Study Almost Finds That Attention Spans Are Shortening


Facebook and Reddit Are Probably to Blame.

A group of Queen’s graduate students nearly took the time to finish a study that looked as if it was going to infer that the attention spans of people between the ages of 14 and 24 are shorter than those of people 25 and up. On average, they probably would have found, those who are younger begin to drift in attention likely 3 seconds closer.
The demise of the study occurred when Annie was suddenly reminded of this sweet cat vine that she had seen approximately two weeks ago. Four and a half hours later they realized they did not have time to finish the study in time for the scheduled press release.
In an interview, Scott Langley said “We’re pretty sure that an inability to focus has manifested itself in the younger generations, but I’m ashamed to admit we got a bit distracted and then Jack had to one-up Todd, and I thought that was an asshole move so I had to one-up him. It escalated from there until we were taking monetary bets on /r/fifty-fifty.”
The partially-finished study was the culmination of 3 weeks of testing. Basically, we put people on an ‘unmoderated’ browser and timed how long it was before they were off task. Several participants were on reddit within seconds claiming that it was part of their task-completion process. “We knew they were lying because /r/gonewild is not a productivity website.” Todd said. “I know because I never get any work done when I’m posting there.”
At Press Time, they were still staring at a cat vine.