Hilarious Pseudonym
Clark Hall Pub
30 5th Field Company Lane
Kingston, ON K7L 3N6
(613) 533-6195
eds@goldenwords.com
Objective
To write a slightly entertaining article. Maybe it will lead to an interview for some reason.
Education
Queen’s University – Kingston, Ontario
- Bachelor’s In Applied Satire Engineering
- GPA: 69 (lol)
Summary of qualifications and skills
- Distracted very easily, but efficient worker if I really try
- Professional privilege checker
- Able to leave the house on Sunday afternoons in winter while hungover
- Was forced to learn MATLAB
Work experience
2014 to present: Golden Words
- Write in a newspaper (sort of). At least its not The Journal.
- Good example of teamwork and collaboration and listing other bullshit nouns.
2014 to present: Engineering Design Team
- Signed up for Concrete Toboggan during frosh week but ignored all their emails afterwards.
- Hypothetically gained real world engineering experience. But just hypothetically.
Summer of 2014: Caught up in like all of Game of Thrones and even contemplated reading the books.
- Went outside several times.
- Became comfortable using several social media platforms, notably Reddit.
Additional accomplishments
- Played with balloons during Pressnite.
- Almost got Overlord that one time.
- Almost got the Frost Week bar that one time.
Fake references written by me available upon request.
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