Rez Room Essentials


Hopefully all you first years are getting settled into residence now. There are, however, many things that you may have not realized you needed to make the most of your experience at Queen’s University. Here are Golden Words’ essentials for the ultimate res room!

  • A memory foam mattress – Those res beds can be rock hard!
  • A mini-fridge for storing half-drank cans of Pabst and expired mustard
  • A tub of protein powder, so you can promise yourself you’ll workout for the first month and then stop the moment it becomes inconvenient
  • A diet of exclusively diet ice tea and laxative – gotta keep off that freshman 15!
  • A stack of poetry books that you’ve never actually read to make you seem like you’re not void of culture and the human condition
  • Posters of Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Jimi Hendrix and Albert Einstein to express your conformed originality
  • A non-shut off kettle to show your Don that you’re not one to fuck with
  • Tons of pictures of your fake, no fun, high school friends that you’ll never see again to post all over your wall
  • Lowered expectations
  • Your medical forms for the transfusion to add yellow and blue to your blood so that you literally bleed tricolour