Sex positions for the busy student


As the end of the semester looms, we here at Golden Words understand how difficult it is to balance your school life and your sex life. Instead of sacrificing valuable study time we have brainstormed with our experts to come up with these steamy positions:


Star Fish

Tired after a night class but still feel obligations to have sex? Cue the starfish. Lie on your back and do your best star fish impression. This sensual position will please your partner while allowing you to stare at the ceiling and exert as little energy as humanly possible. For a bonus round, count the tiles on the ceilings. For double points, use the grid-like ceiling to create an accurate calendar of your assignments this week.


The Textbook

Test tomorrow making you horny (or bored)? This position will allow you to get down without putting down your much needed study notes. Get on top of your partner and ride them to the rhythm of your pages turning. This way your test won’t be the only thing getting a well earned D.


The Reverse Textbook

Feeling distracted by your partners face during the textbook? Flip around and eliminate the distraction. Both have tests? Offer to tape your partners study notes on your back.


The One-Night Stand

This twist on traditional doggy style allows you to be studious while getting your twinkie stinky. Bend your partner over and use them as a table for your notes. Pro tip: Make sure you tap dat ass gently so you don’t knock over your notes.


Getting A-head

Partner offer you a blowjob but you need to cram more than your dick in their mouth? Ask them to tape your notes to the top of their head!


Get Stauffed

A quickie in the stacks eliminates the pesky distraction of hormones. Use the stacks of books to really get in that studying mood. Bonus points if you can grab the book to complete your research paper while you do the hippity dippity.