SHRC Drivers Ed.

  1. When driving at night, always have the lights on so you can more easily see obstacles/testicles.
  2. Perform regular vehicle maintenance and ensure proper lubrication of all moving parts.
  3. When driving in wet conditions, chances are your wipers are already turned on. Proceed with caution.
  4. Always use correct rubber for proper traction. Durastone is recommended.
  5. If your vehicle gets a flat tire, just get a new ride.
  6. When crashing, don’t forget to engage the airbags.
  7. Avoid putting obstructions in the tailpipe. Doing so could lead to suffocation.
  8. Do not attempt to place baby in cupholder.
  9. Driving around in a nice car is cool. Bragging about it is douchey.
  10. In slippery conditions, reduce speed. NO! GO FASTER, FASTER YESSSS!!!!!
  11. Painting flames on the side of your vehicle will make it go faster. Unless of course, that vehicle is a windowless van. Do Not Get inside a windowless van.
  12. Drinking and driving is both unsafe and unintelligent, but you’re gonna do it anyway so make sure to wear your seatbelt and refer to #10.
  13. In the event of roadrage, use your windshield ice scraper to teach all those other drivers a lesson they won’t forget!