Are you at a loss for what to wear on Halloween? Scared that your ideas are shitty or unoriginal? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Dozens of uncreative people just like you struggle with the same problem year after year. If you want to find a costume that isn’t totally overused like “zombie” or “sexy bunny”, you might just want to consider some of the following ideas that I have listed in this article. And if you decide to use any of these please send me a donation on tilt because these ideas don’t come cheap and neither does engineering. Nudes are available for donations of $10 and up.
Ken Bone: Don your favourite red sweater, thick glasses and adorable accent, and prepare to question those around you on their energy policies. You’ll be a massive hit at parties. If it worked for Ken, it’ll work for you.
Sexy Harambe: Very trendy, and very real. Comes in child sizes for your little tot.
Edgy Ninja: This costume is fairly low intensity. All you need is a black lace collar. To activate your costume, simply put the lace collar on your neck. Easy, right? Now, when people see your black belt in sucking dick, nobody will dare to question your authority in screw-jitsu.
Katniss Aberdeen: Wear black skintight clothing. Tape together a quiver of tall boys, and wear it proudly (this could be a good alternative to doing wizard staff, if you are smaller in stature or are a cheap drunk). Bonus points if you carry around a shitty plastic bow and arrow with you as you stumble through the student district while screaming out “PEETAAAAA!”
Commitment: As scary as it is expected from one or more of the girls that you might be hooking up with on halloween.
APSC 112: See Sheldon Cooper as “The Doppler Effect” for a good general idea. Maybe you could just wear a blue surfer shirt and say that you’re a type of electromagnetic wave. However you decide to interpret this costume, just know that whatever you wear will most definitely strike fear into the hearts of those eng students who recognize it for what it is.
As I mentioned before, look up Fap God on Tilt if you decide to actually use any of these costumes. One of the things that I’ve mentioned above is going to be my actual halloween costume, and if I see any of you cheeky kids dressed like a drunk Jennifer Lawrence during the holiday, you might just end up “accidentally” eating a couple of berries. You have been warned.
*insert whistle anthem of the resistance here*