Steps for Making the Most out of Your Professional Meetings


Meetings, meetings, meetings. They’re the crust of the peanut butter sandwich that is university. Group projects, training sessions, fighting those “desecration of burial sight” charges you got cause you were just a bit too lit on st paddy’s – it’s just a whole bunch of time better spent getting high and watching Seinfeld reruns. Unfortunately, meetings are a part of your boring af everyday life and they’re not much you can do about it unless you’re willing to burn off you fingerprints and learn the paraguayan national anthem. Luckily for you, I’ve got some tips and tricks to split meeting time into me and eating time 😉

You’ve got to see meetings as an opportunity. Most of the time meetings take place inside walled areas, sheltered from the cold and judgey eyes of the general public. Take this chance to dress comfortably – sweatpants, pajamas, even corduroys are on the table when it comes to meetings. No need to impress the other people, you can wow them with your charm and extensive Magic The Gathering knowledge!

Meetings often involve an exchange of thoughts and opinions through oral communication. This can be tough if you’re so hungover you can’t speak or so lazy you don’t want to move your jaw. If you don’t have any uppers on hand, bring a close friend or family member to speak on your behalf. Having your aunt Judy around will help you get your ideas across and her tuna casserole is heavenly (definitely bring tupperware).

One huge thing about meetings is staying awake. This seems to be a super important thing so I go the extra mile to make sure I’m completely in the zone for meetings that can even drag on for over 15 minutes! Steroids are popularized as performance enhancing drugs in high intensity sports, but I like to use those babies to stay conscious for long portions of the day. Whether you start with normal testosterone injections or jump straight into synthetic supplements, being fully awake during meetings is easy as pie (pie doped with steroids)!

Hopefully your meetings are as productive as a coke fiend buying coke (so me every other week)!