3:00 PM – Wednesday March 16th.
THE STUDENT GHETTO – Online hero and warrior of justice Tanner Reynolds, 20, is a third year student in development studies at Queen’s University. Describing himself as a “proponent of modern chivalry”, true knight Tanner Reynolds is a man who wants to change the world.
“If you want to change the world, you have to start small”, the progressive Reynolds told Golden Worlds in an exclusive interview. “Every little effort counts”.
For the visionary Tanner Reynolds, St. Patrick’s Day is a time for celebration, but also extreme disappointment. This St. Patrick’s day, the honourable Reynolds is hesitant to have too much fun, knowing that people around him are going to offend him at some point in the next 24 hours.
“I know for a fact that there’s a long and very condescending Overheard at Queen’s post in my future” Reynolds said bravely, as he began mentally preparing himself for the daunting task. “It’s probably going to be about cleaning up the garbage from the lawns in the student ghetto. Yeah, that probably is the most likely option.”
The avant-garden defender of equality, Tanner Reynolds, considered for a moment, then admitted it was equally possible that his overheard post could be about cultural appropriation. “I mean, I have a friend who I know is one-quarter Irish – I saw a picture of him in a kilt once, and he likes Braveheart. I just think that St. Patrick’s Day doesn’t accurately reflect his cultural values. I know that he would appreciate me expressing my displeasure on Overheard”.
Unfortunately, the interview had to be cut short when Tanner Reynolds, a bastion of cultural values, noticed someone had said something racist on a youtube video and immediately began to furiously write his retort.
We at Golden Words salute the valiant efforts of Tanner, the crusader of moral values, in his efforts to battle St. Patrick’s Day raunchiness by writing things on the internet!