Stuff Karma Forgot in 2015


Karma, the mysterious force that balances the scales of cosmic justice, is supposed to reward the worldly sins with misfortune and retribution, and when y’all do good shit karma’s supposed to give you lemons or some shit like that. But Karma is a bit like you at your summer job, in that Karma doesn’t entirely give a shit if the work gets all the way done. And unfortunately in 2016 there were plenty of people who managed to avoid Karma’s wandering eye and we’d like to single them out:
Kanye West-
The 44th President of the United States of America Barack Hussein Obama affectionately describes Yeezy best:“he’s a jackass.” Kanye West has been a textbook definition of a narcissistic asshole for years now but continues to prove that either someone upstairs has decided his musical genius somehow balances things out, or he truly is a God or at least a motherfuckin’ Monster. 
LeBron James  
LeBron James is unassailably the modern king of basketball. He also knows it and lets everyone else know it. If anyone could use a fat slice of humble pie and a lesson in loyalty after flipping back and forth from poor Cleveland, it would be LeBron “Steph Curry can suck it” James. And no, placing second in the entire goddamn NBA isn’t a punishment for godssakes. Have some perspective.
Greece, the cornerstone of democracy, and, equally prominently, namesake of the shittiest variety of salad, had a bit of a rough go in 2015. By rough go, we mean their economy collapsed like a House of Cards without Kevin Spacey. Then in a desperate bid to win Karma’s eye, Greece continued to demonstrate that it wasn’t an asshole by letting nearly 250,000 Syrian refugees pass into Europe through its shores even while most Greeks were paying their groceries by bartering chickens.
Tom Mulcair
Despite running a consistent campaign, maintaining a downright mighty beard, and generally being a respected politician and statesman, the NDP leader’s just desserts for fighting the good fight was for all of Canada (and the world, really) to coo at Justin Trudeau, while dropping a deuce in the general direction of the NDP on election day.
The Klu Klux Klan
Despite being the paragon of racism, the Klan continues to be a thing, which is like the least chill thing. If there is any kind of moral cause and effect we hope it to involves  lightning strikes.
Dr. Ben Carson
Watching Dr. Ben Carson in 2015 was like a study in the fleeting whim of fame. Carson did the same damn thing no matter whatever was happening around him, and was given a baffling rollercoaster ride on the polls, jumping from 8% to 21% with barely a change in tone and apparently never fully being awake during every Republican debate. Why he got the highs or the lows are a complete mystery to everyone including the NRA’s  favourite neurosurgeon.
Fuckbois got a lot of attention in 2015. For one thing the word was invented. Now we honestly can’t decide whether the douchier cousin of the bro was helped or hindered by the notoriety, so let’s just give Karma a wash on this one, but something more good or more bad ought to have happened.
Despite being a faithful companion to Han Solo and the rest of the Star Wars gang Chewbacca has gotten no love in the latest iteration of the series. When will that poor Wookie just take charge of the Millennium Falcon, or get his own ship. God knows he’s capable, loyal, and damn good at fixing hyperdrives. Give the man creature dude his fair shot at glory dammit. We don’t understand why this isn’t a bigger deal to more people #Chewiegate2016.
Golden Words 
Last but not least: it’s us. If we’re being honest we’ve been coasting for this entire century, anyone who has ever associated with GW in any way really ought to be taken aside and sternly scolded. That’s really what we deserve.