Successul Breeding Experiments By Dr. Oetker Creates World’s First Pizzaburger Hot Dog


After a ten year period of research, eugenics and culinary abuse, scientists at D. Oetker’s R&D division have finally succeeded creating the messiah of modern dishes: the pizzaburger hotdog. Not a decade ago, this was science fiction. The biotech world had only scratched the surface of fruit gushers and cinnamon toast crunch- we were like children, ignorantly mixing flavors and textures, making such simple creations. No one could have ever imagined what the future would hold.

Since then, we’ve plunged ourselves into the unknown: the sushi burrito, bacon poutine, room temperature cold cuts. The amount of different milk drink flavours has grown exponentially. We’ve put cheese in places never thought possible. And now, in a lab ten floors underground, science has taken one step further. The pizzaburger hot dog has marked the first moment in history when scientist took a step back and said “what have we done?”

Ten years of failures have come at a cost. Thousands of cheeseburgers kept in captivity, never seeing the light of day. A never ending chain of pizza dough, poured through the grinder of scientific advancement. A single weiner dog, alone, a tear down its face.

Now, the pizzaburger hot dog has been born. Was it worth it? Is our reach further than our grasp can hold? Can we eat this new creation with a clean conscience? Years pass and the world spins. This is inevitable. No one individual can stop this. As the world moves forward, we brace ourselves for the new and bold, those who think beyond what can be thought. And when those moments come, and they will, when the world is flipped on it’s head, the only thing we may consider is if we can accept it. Do you accept the pizzaburger hot dog? I do.