Syd Editorial: All Board Games Matter


I had no say in the theme of this issue, but whatever, Jenga is cool or something. I don’t know, whatever. I don’t think it would be fair to dedicate an entire bloody issue to a dumb af board game without giving nod to some other dumb af games, be they board or otherwise. It is selective and unfair to other equally good board (more like bored, eh?) games to single out one as having the most merit. I’d like to argue the pros and cons of other games in order to have some semblance of board game equality in this paper. 
Monopoly gets some serious flack for being a friendship/relationship ending game. I would like to argue that that can be seen as both a pro and a con. A con for obvious reason, but a pro because monopoly really brings out the truth in people. Someone you thought was sweet and innocent could make you pay a vicious amount of money for landing on their 3 space long estate, laughing as you slide farther into bankruptcy. Do you really want to start a family with someone who is just going to take all your money and spend it on frivolous nonsense? You can also act like a bastard during a game with people you don’t really want to be friends with anymore, thus effectively eliminating the need for slowly ignoring them until they get the point and stop texting you 24/7. 
Con: losing good friends. Pro: losing bad friends.
Hungry Hungry Hippos, while perhaps not the most played games among the university population, does hold some merits. Though it is inherently a children’s game, are we not all children at heart? And anyway, this is like the easiest game to turn into a drinking game, make each ball equal a shot and you’ll be wasty face within the hour. 
Con: you’ll look like complete idiots. Pro: you’ll be so drunk no one will care. 
You could also pull out Yahtzee if you’re looking for something with a lot of yelling. To be honest, I have absolutely no idea what the point of this game is. I think you just throw dice out of cups at each other and yell Yahtzee when you hit someone. Sound to me like low budget paintball. 
Con: no idea what is going on. Pro: lots of yelling. 
You could also even play Scrabble, if you’re feeling particularly smart.  I’m not even going to lie here, Scrabble is boring af. I truly wouldn’t recommend this game, and even still I’m sure there are some pros to it, like you learn or some shit like that. And let’s face it, drunk Scrabble would probably be hilarious. What I’m trying to say is Jenga isn’t the only game, guys, okay? Let’s give some love to the other games our parents made us play on Games Night declaring that we need to spend time together like a real family.