I know that I was supposed to share with you the scintillating part two of what is sure to be an epic tale of blacking out and waking up with two tickets to Finland, as I’m sure so many of you can relate to, but alas this brilliant sequel is still in the works. It’s sure to blow your mind, just not this week. Think of this week as a commercial break. An intermission, if you will.
Instead, this editorial is brought to you by Totally For Real Life Hacks That Will Make Your Life 110% Better™
1. Tin Foil can be used for more than just food
It’s amazing the things you can fashion out of a single sheet of aluminium foil – it just need to be confined to use in the kitchen. You can twist it into bracelets or fashion a fabulous headdress or hat for instant fashion. And safety.
2. Keep all your money in jars around your house
You’ll never have to go all the way to your bank to take out cash, and you’ll never have to worry about losing your bank card. You can even divide your jars, so you can use a jar a day/week/month and always know exactly what you are spending.
3. DIY decorate your bunker to make it more homey
Most modern bunkers have a rather drab and depressing feeling, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Putting up some bright curtains and a nice rug can give the cold concrete a warmer ambiance. You can even decoupage some shelves if you are feeling extra pinterest-y.
4. Use plywood on your windows for optimal safety
The people trying to find you won’t be able to if they can’t see you. Using sturdy, and inexpensive, plywood will ensure that nothing can get in (or out) of your house without you knowing. If you are ‘friends’ with any heathens who risk the ‘sunlight’ have them go out the Home Depot and pick you up a few sheets of it. They can then saw it into sheets and feed it to you through the mail slit. So board that up last. . While they are there ask them to get some heavy duty padlocks, they are always useful to have on hand.
Aliens are real and are trying to take over the planet. No one is safe. Save yourself. The illuminati are r~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It seems we have a broadcasting error, ah, the printer stopped working. I apologize for this inconvenience.
This has been Totally For Real Life Hacks That Will Make Your Life 110% Better™