You know it’s coming: One day soon, the government is going to find out what you’ve done. You’ll need to flee the country for the sake of your survival; if you die, the secrets you fought so hard to acquire die with you! With that in mind, there is nothing more important than shielding your family from the fallout that’s sure to come. Paste these pictures of Danny Devito over your face in family pictures to hide your most beloved relationships from CSIS:
This one’s perfect for one of those funny family photos where you’re all making goofy faces and laughing. Don’t forget that gluesticks are garbage and can’t be trusted for such sensitive jobs. Anything less than superglue is insufficient for this.
A portrait shot is always good to have, because when you inevitably find a family photo where your whole body is visible, you may want the body to match the face. The more options you have the better, and this picture says nothing if not “flexibility”.
Let’s face it, some of your pictures will be from when you were younger. You aren’t the spring chicken you used to be! With that in mind, This is the perfect picture of young Danny Devito to show those CSIS bastards that you used to be one sexy dude!
On the same note as our last photo, you aren’t young forever! In order to show a progression of age, you’ll need a picture with salt-and-pepper stubble and graying hair! If anything, those CSIS scum will just be wowed by how well you’ve aged!
This last image is just to have a little fun! Let CSIS see you as the kind of stand-up guy who puts up a thumb and gives a stern nod to any he respects.
So there you have it. At this point, your life and Danny Devito’s are indistinguishable, and your family can rest easy until you’re finally able to return home a hero.