If you are one of the fortunate individuals who have not encountered mansplaining, or you refuse to indulge in it, here is a brief definition: mansplaining when a man explains something whilst simultaneously asserting his dominance over everything subjective. This has led to some backlash, and if you are one of those people that can use their brain and have your own opinions-this list is for you. Be careful though, male egos are constructed from a very thin ceramic that is formed in the embryo by 7-year olds at a pottery birthday party where the birthday girl is on the verge of tears because her mom forgot she liked vanilla cake better than chocolate cake.
Anyways this list is compiled of the best and worst tools to combat the mansplain, I’m not going to tell you which is best and which is worst though because I really don’t want to shove anything subjective down your throat.
1. Try Womaisunderstanding
My personal favourite (but it doesn’t have to be yours!!) way to fight the ‘splain, is its distinctly opposite opposition: womaisunderstanding. Like the hybrid word of “explain” and “man”, I invented a similar hybrid of “woman” and “misunderstanding”. What I have found in my own experience is that men only have so much explaining power, but woman have an incredible stamina for taking shit. Let’s say a man is trying to explain to you the proper way to barbecue something; you obviously are acquainted with the various techniques of the straight-forward but mildly versatile apparatus, so instead, you just keep asking questions in such a way that seems nothing is really getting through to you. Eventually, the man will tire, and you can carry on with your own opinions as he has made no groundwork! This technique also cradles and cares for the ego, it even helps it grow!
2. Immediately Agree with Everything
This is the opposite of the previous technique, but it is really useful if you are in a rush. Say a man is trying to explain to you why Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys is the greatest album of all time, and let’s say you liked the album, but personally you can’t ignore its lack of cohesive musicality, the laziness in the already beat-to-death argument, and the fact that it idolizes white rock that was born from predominantly black R&B that fails to get credit-but keep all that to yourself. Simply agree on his first point. The faster you say “oh my gosh-you are actually so right!” the faster the conversation will end! Although the positive affirmation is not at all going to satisfy his need to really explain things, it’s definitely a foolproof technique.
3. Date Him
This technique takes a lot of time and patience, but if you put in the work this can totally be effective, and even feel good for you! So say a man is trying to explain to you how The Princess Bride is an overrated movie-this mansplain would be particularity hard to endure so instead quickly change the topic and use your womanly charm and trap him in a committed long term relationship. Over the years you are going to move to farmland, and mercilessly order him around. But this will only strengthen his love for you until one day he will leave to find fortune to better your lives but he will be attacked by pirates! Anyways then you’ll be captured by some other guy who wants to marry you for all the wrong reasons, and so your man will be forced into travelling far and wide to come save you. Finally, as he breaks into the castle he finds you alone. You draw your sword, the references are getting jumbled now, and you say loudly, “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You’re wrong about the Princess Bride. Prepare to sit down and watch it all right now and just TRY and tell me this movie isn’t dope.”