Queen’s Bro Association (QBA) has announced that they have received approval to run the Queen’s BrOlympics in January. The confirmed events for the games are:
Coxed Eight Man Flip Cup: The eight man team, plus their coxswain screaming at them, will compete in a flip cup race-off representing their brountry.
Pizza Box Discus: The Bros have 15 minutes to eat an entire large pizza and attempt to throw the pizza box as far as possible.
Dancing Douche Class: Who can be the most successful on the Stages dance floor. The Bros will be judged on who can grind the longest.
Gym Posing: Which Bro can strike the douchiest pose in the ARC mirror and pretend to actually know what they are doing at the gym.
Keg Caber Toss: Bros will compete in 20000 mL and 58600 mL classes. The Bros will start with a full keg and have one hour to drink as much as they want. Following the one hour drinking time, the Bros will attempt to throw the partially empty keg.
Wizard Staff Javelin: Drink your height in beer cans in three hours and tape them together into a javelin. The Bros will attempt to throw the beer can staff as far as possible. Bros will be disqualified if the staff breaks during the throw.
Hurdles: The Bros will attempt to make it from Vic Hall to Clark Hall Pub. They will have to make it through the hurdles of university life. The Bros will need to get through the 112 midterm, attempt to do laundry, successfully cook Mr. Noodles, and resist the Lazy four piece.
High Jump: Which Bro can jump while the highest. Each round, the “bar” is raised one joint until a winner is confirmed.
Broathlon: The Broathletes will begin at Grant Hall and begin by running to Stages. After showing off their douchey dance skills the Bros will swim to Wolfe Island (I know it’s January but no one expects them to make it past Stages) where they will attempt to Caber toss a 20 litre keg. Finally, they will bicycle back across the ice and return to Grant Hall.
Hangover Recovery: The Bro who makes it back to Grant Hall earliest the next day is crowned the winner in his Mastery of Function, while hungover.