The Burger of Might


As I stand behind the line of people,
I can’t help but put a quick smirk on my face.
This is not a place of healthy selections.
NO, it is a place of hearty, greasy, and manly foods!

As my hulking frame wobbled closer to the counter
I shared a quiet laugh with myself as the smaller people took their wimpy foods,
Their salads and their whole grain wraps. Bah!
To satisfy my hunger, I would need something bigger.
I need something grand, something so infamous that,
People would stare in awe if it would be shown to the public.

As I lurch my way up to the counter,
The adolescent worker sums up my frame.
When I tell him what I want, he puts on a private grin.
He then turns to his fellow workers and shouts…
“One McCoronary!”

The McCoronary, the Defibrillator, Burger of Might.
So many names for such a colossal burger,
Nine patties, 11 pieces of cheese, eight pieces of bacon, and three buns to top it off.
And a gracefully flowing river of grease with each squeeze.
Finally a food that can match my boundless frame!

As I prepare my mouth for the first bite, I realize that there is no going back,
Like a soldier preparing for battle, I knew that this was not going to be easy.
Then with my mouth open wide, I invite the beast.

Many minutes later, the beast defeated, I relish in my victory.
My epic battle between man and burger finished.
I look back to the taste of that burger. Almost god-like!
What is this feeling? The taste is returning!
The glory of all eleven patties is coming back to me!

Suddenly it comes clear to me.
This burger has been deceitful, fighting its way back,
From the bowels of my epic stomach it claws its way up my throat.
I suddenly realize how important a washroom is at this moment,
As I rush in and end this fight.