This week in America was a fortuitous one, the time arrived for the country to decide between a human trash fire or a mutated crow liar person; the votes came in hot and fast leaving candidates and voters alike on the edge of their seats, yet in the end there can only be one and the last man standing was none other than D Tizzle himself – Donald Trump. Many have been asking since the numbers came in how Donald succeeded in wrangling the popular vote, some stated it was the rural white vote that tipped him over the edge, the truth however is even more bizarre. During the electoral race new methods to obtain votes were employed to great effect. Yet one method proved to be superior, especially for Trump, and that method was memery. Memes have only increased in popularity since their inception at the dawn of the universe, taking many forms including datboi and me gusta, yet no meme has achieved the level of popularity in this new era of memery than Harambe.
Most know the sordid tale of the hero gorilla Harambe, an ignorant child mistakenly falls into a gorilla enclosure, the gorilla however, was merely a noble soul only wishing to illuminate that child of the life of a zoo gorilla. The world could not understand the intricacies of gorilla life and decided that they would be better off without him. Would those zoo officials have committed such a heinous act if they knew the relationship between that hero gorilla and the new President of the United States Donald Trump though?
If one took the time to investigate the events that took place around Harambe then they would have noticed that not two weeks before those events took place, the new President of the United States himself visited Harambe. Not only did he visit Harambe but for some reason unknown to this reporter he ventured into the enclosure himself not unlike the young boy. What actually transpired while Trump was with his evolutionary cousin still remains a mystery, though one fact escaped that enclosure which holds a truth that not only explains the results of the election but also will blow the collective mind of America.
When Trump entered that enclosure he never actually left.
Somehow, through a power never seen before, Harambe body snatched the Trumpmeister. Harambe escaped in the aging Republicans skin, leaving Trump’s minds behind in the powerful body of the Gorilla. Once Harambe properly integrated himself back into society he quickly realized the power and success of memes when running a campaign. Meanwhile, back in the zoo, Trump was beginning to panic over his predicament, yet then a chance for escape came to him in the form of a small child; what was mistook for a gorilla wandering around in an enclosure holding a child was actually Trump attempting to spell out help with a child’s body! Once Trump’s life was tragically and unwittingly ended by the zoo, Harambe capitalized on his popularity creating several false meme accounts and posting Harambe memes with quiet racist underpinnings. Utilizing the power of memes, Harambe has somehow secretly become the president without any American citizens becoming the wiser. Now he will use his newfound power to release his Gorilla brothers from their prisons, and increase the popularity of the children’s cereal Gorilla Munch.