Things I can do now that I’m 21 and OLD AS FUCK


This marks my 3rd month as a 21 year old girl. #21andagirl. This is a list of stuff that I do as a fun, flirty, not-quite-30-still-in-my-20s, university attending gal.

  • Attend university in my third year. Or like if you’re not specifically me you could be in your first or second year in 21 or maybe you were super smart and you’re even in fourth or fifth year or graduated because you’re sooooooo smart and shit.
  • Drink all over the world. Literally. Every odd numbered day I call up all my other 21 year old friends and we fly to the States and other countries that we’ve been legally allowed to drink in for like three years and we have 1 drink and go home because being 21 means you have responsibilities and probably work or a dog or a job or even a dog with a job.
  • Worry about all of the weird nudes I’ve taken and put The Net. When I was a young pup and not 21, my sweet young bod was illegal all over the interwebs, but now, my older, more lumpy looking self is totally good to fly its freak flag on the net. I let it, and sometimes, it’s less than good.
  • When my younger, non-legal siblings call me for a boot, AKA ask me to buy them alcohol illegally, I say to them, “fuck no lol”. When I was not 21, I had to make my own way in the world, find my own legal, fake ID owning friends, and I’m not about to let my siblings miss out on this awkward, character building “hey can I be your friend so you will buy me alcohol” moments in life. It’s the little things u know.
  • Call my friends who aren’t 21 and ask them how their days were. When they reply, I like to sigh wistfully and reminisce on the days when I wasn’t 21. Usually I tell a few stories then cry a little, it’s a standard Monday 2pm amirite?????
  • Talk about politics. All of the adults in my life like to ask my opinions on things because “you’re 21 now!!!!” I know nothing. Key catch phrases for a 21 in 2016: “lol American politics!!!!”, “Trump is crazy right now am I right???”, “have you been on twitter lately? Lol nuts out there right!!!!”, “I can’t believe they let birds into the primary elections LOL!!!!”
  • Fake that my life is together. Currently I am drinking soda on a couch covered in Doritos in a room with 4 pizzas and a lot of political talk. Like, a lot. But I texted my family and my boyfriend and told them I was writing macro code in the library like the scholar they know I am. Priorities.

So far that’s what I got for being 21. It could be worse, but it’s probably still a FUCK TON better than being 18 and not even being AFFORDED the opportunity to be the giant piece of  garbage I am today.