Things I Don’t Like


There are a lot of things that I don’t like, much like everyone else. One thing I do like though, is Limericks, so decided to put the things I don’t like in Limerick form. To be honest, I was running out of ides for this week, so this is what you get. I can’t please everyone all the time, okay, I just can’t. So here you go, enjoy, or not, whatever. 

Leaving the house: 

Leaving the house is a source of great stress 
to those who prefer sweats over pants or a dress 
that the netflix and chill date 
actually seems pretty great 
is something that I hate to confess. 

Forgetting names: 

Here is the thing, I do know your face 
and I know that your Grandma’s called Grace
 I know your star sign 
and I’ve seen your 1D shrine 
but your name is the thing that my brain has misplaced. 


How many legs do you really need?  Why do you need so much speed?
Bugs do not need fur, 
of this, I am sure. 
Just leave me alone, I plead. 

Living on a Prayer: 

How do you even live on a prayer? 
Is it supposed to be better than air? 
I don’t understand 
why this song is so grand
but at least it’s better than Cher*

*This isn’t actually true, Bon Jovi is the worst, but rhyming is hard… 


To risk sounding like an old maid, 
I really don’t care that you are getting laid. 
it’s not a good day 
when I see your forplay 
it’s really not something that need be displayed. 


I once drank a bottle of piss 
it was like meeting satan for a kiss 
we weren’t at a bar 
we were drinking PBR 
It was the exact opposite of bliss 

PBR (yes, again): 

It was the cheapest keg they could get 
the beginning of a night to forget 
like urine in my mouth 
y’all should really checkout 


What God would invent this atrocity, 
That menaces me with ferocity?
Dogs shit in hats, 
I much prefer cats. 
Nothing else rhymes with atrocity.