Things I Don’t Like

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There are a lot of things that I don’t like, much like everyone else. One thing I do like though, is Limericks, so decided to put the things I don’t like in Limerick form. To be honest, I was running out of ides for this week, so this is what you get. I can’t please everyone all the time, okay, I just can’t. So here you go, enjoy, or not, whatever. 

Leaving the house: 

Leaving the house is a source of great stress 
to those who prefer sweats over pants or a dress 
that the netflix and chill date 
actually seems pretty great 
is something that I hate to confess. 

Forgetting names: 

Here is the thing, I do know your face 
and I know that your Grandma’s called Grace
 I know your star sign 
and I’ve seen your 1D shrine 
but your name is the thing that my brain has misplaced. 

Spiders: 

How many legs do you really need?  Why do you need so much speed?
Bugs do not need fur, 
of this, I am sure. 
Just leave me alone, I plead. 

Living on a Prayer: 

How do you even live on a prayer? 
Is it supposed to be better than air? 
I don’t understand 
why this song is so grand
but at least it’s better than Cher*

*This isn’t actually true, Bon Jovi is the worst, but rhyming is hard… 

PDA: 

To risk sounding like an old maid, 
I really don’t care that you are getting laid. 
it’s not a good day 
when I see your forplay 
it’s really not something that need be displayed. 

PBR: 

I once drank a bottle of piss 
it was like meeting satan for a kiss 
we weren’t at a bar 
we were drinking PBR 
It was the exact opposite of bliss 

PBR (yes, again): 

It was the cheapest keg they could get 
the beginning of a night to forget 
like urine in my mouth 
y’all should really checkout 
governmentpissinginourbeer.net 

Dogs: 

What God would invent this atrocity, 
That menaces me with ferocity?
Dogs shit in hats, 
I much prefer cats. 
Nothing else rhymes with atrocity. 

 

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