Things The US Would Elect As President Before They’d Elect A Woman

0
15

SUP guys, its me, Leah, here to share with you some of my zany unique thoughts on another episode of Leah Talks About Politics and Who Let Her? Why Is She Doing This?

So as I browse the internet for the next best Vine, I sometimes accidentally stumble upon “politics” and “Cory in The House Erotica Fan-Fiction” but who cares about that garbage though right ? Haha i’m nervous. But anyways I’ve been noticing that the US is going through a whole lot of effort to not elect a woman into office.

I mean, I get it, what the heck would we call the First Lady if it was a boy? It’s just too much change, and she’s already going to use the tax payers’ money on her periods and tampons and birth control. Presented with this very-gender based resistance I have done some thorough research on the voting limits of everyday Americans. Through this research I have developed a comprehensive list of all the things Americans would rather elect as their President before they would elect a woman.

1. Riff Raff

Probably one of the best rappers of this generation so this shouldn’t come as a surprise. He has a hella dope fashion sense and a warm smile. Riff Raff is able to cross cultures musically, so, like, talk about foreign affairs. I was going to talk about how he got head on stage one time but that was Danny Brown.

2. Danny Brown

Danny Brown literally got a blow-job on stage while performing. That is actually so fucking sick! Also in Danny Brown’s verse on A$AP Rocky’s 1 Train he has a line that goes “Dick so big, stretch from earth to venus” so this means two things: A) He has a big hoinkey doinkey and B) so, like, also, talk about foreign affairs.

3. A Good Pair of All Blue Denim Jeans

Classic, reliable, and holds the country together in all the right ways ;). Typically doesn’t make racist remarks and has never used the wrong pronoun around someone who self-identifies their gender. No pants have ever bragged about sexual assault. No pants have ever been a woman well suited for the job with a lot of but we don’t trust her.

4. A Bottle of Mayonnaise

Well, it’s white.

5. A Doggo

Doggo: man’s best friend, and certainly not a woman. Dogs can run really fast and they are good listeners. Dogs know how to find things, so they would totally have found bin laden in like 1 day-easy. They can also smell drugs from far away and so the country would be drug-free.

6. Hearty Chicken Noodle Soup

Don’t even talk to me if you haven’t had a bad day, you’ve have a cold, and your mom makes you a crisp bowl of Hearty Chicken Noodle Soup and then everything was ok. Reliable, trustworthy and All-American. Absolutely does not come with all the emotional baggage of a woman. No terrorists have been Hearty Chicken Noodle Soup

7. A Racist, Homophobic, Sexually Violent Man with the Wrong Colour of Foundation on

A lot of people are into this guy, personally I don’t get the hype.

Comments