Tindall Field Officially Renamed to Tinder Field

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In an attempt to transform Tindall Field into a more hookup-positive space on campus, Queen’s Athletics and Recreation has decided to change the field’s name to reflect their enthusiasm in the popular matchmaking app, Tinder. In addition to the regularly scheduled sporting events, the newly named Tinder Field will serve as a safe meeting space for questionable young couples who met on the questionable app. Queen’s Athletics and Recreation will also be phasing in new, exciting features to the field. These features include Ambient Mode stadium lighting, less burn-inducing turf (in preparation for increased friction), hirable dating coaches and dating referees on site, and a conveyor belt installed along the jogging track to allow for physical swiping of potential mates. The field will also be renovated into the shape of a perfect circle, to be consistent with Tinder’s “search radius” feature.
When asked about the odd purpose of this transition Principal Woolf explained, “we’d like Tindall Field to be available for even more intramural activities, if you know what I mean”, with a not-so-subtle wink.
The well-known controversy regarding Tinder’s appearance-based decision-making does not seem to bother the Athletics and Recreation team. “If students are making the trek all the way to this field just to find a potential mate, they most likely are too desperate to even care about appearances”, said an anonymous spokesperson.
As of yet, there is no news on the progress of renaming Grant Hall to Grindr Hall.

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