To aid you in your unfulfilling, empty, ever-disheartening journey to be the center of anonymous men’s romantic fantasies, Golden Words has fresh, topical advice for you!
The US election will have been ongoing for almost 600 days and trust us, we’re all tired of seeing Trump and Clinton bickering in the media. You’re probably also fatigued from trying to collect all the information necessary to make a properly informed, sophisticated opinion about these current events. Emails, socialism, Putin, the liberal media, lifted speeches, tiny hands; when can our spirits rest?
Instead of worrying your pretty head with foreign policy and possible Supreme Court judges that will shape judicial precedents, what if we told you that gross men would be more interested in having casual sex if you had no substance or political opinion? That’s right, Golden Words finally cracked the mystery! Clear everything from your mind about domestic or international politics or political figures and embrace the empty. Your sex appeal depends on it.
If you have no differentiable, unique opinions or outlooks on life, said gross men will be able to easily objectify to be the sex object you’ve always strived to be. Do you want to be known as the girl with the intricate opinion on Russian-American relations or that trashy brunette? Exactly. We thought so too. When you have “political opinions” or “thoughts” or “feelings” or “self-expression”, you will probably isolate any man who has a vaguely, varying opinion. You want to keep that pool as large as you can, my empty-headed friend.
Secure his fragile ego by showing him that, by talking to you, he will face no intellectual challenge whatsoever. Let him know that you’re a catch when you’ll be impressed by any dumbass shit that spews from his mouth. It’s not a big deal that Gary Johnson didn’t know what Aleppo is? Maybe the Mexican judge would be bias in presiding over the Trump University? Oh yeah, baby, tell me more. You’re a big American man with big strong American arms and American opinions.
When you meet men, check your self-esteem and stream of conscious thoughts at the door. Tonight, you’re an empty canvas-vessel that he will project his ideal woman onto. Tonight, you will conform to his predetermined notions of what he thinks he may like in a woman, with no expectation of forming himself to meet your ideals. Tonight, be ready to be his fantasy, whatever that may be.
If you’re hell bent on having an individualistic identity and opinion, do invest in secret, candle-lit underground lair. In your underground lair, you can release your political rage onto scrolls with a feather quill for nobody to see but yourself. Your hair will go grey and your skin will prematurely wrinkle harbouring your pent-up political insight so think about having a secret, candle-lit underground lair as an investment in your hygiene and aesthetic.
But when you do emerge from your secret, candle-lit underground lair, keep those silly political thoughts to yourself! Remember, you’re even hotter when you’re intellectually unopposing.