This past week saw the Queen’s population return to class. No longer can we identify our newest members by those god awful solid coloured frosh shirts. Gone are the days where yelling at teenage girls to shake their ass is acceptable, and where two no’s inevitably turn into a yes. Good one, Queen’s. Without some of frosh week’s tell-tale signs, it can be hard to determine who’s actually a frosh. I’ve compiled 10 tips to help identify our new friends.
1. Someone with a Res Soc student card holder on a lanyard.
This is a no-brainer. If this doesn’t scream frosh I don’t know what does.
2. Any large group of people party hopping in the ghetto.
Basically anyone who looks like they’re aimlessly wandering the “Student Village”. Those are some fucking frosh.
3. Almost anyone with a poorly shaved head.
This is what we call an engineering frosh. They’re the epitome of awful buzz cuts. Exceptions to this rule are FRECS and 2007 Britney.
4. Someone with a vast array of toonie sized hickeys.
We all know frosh are horny, and what better way to say I wanna fuck you then a good ol’ neck sucking.
5. Anyone pronouncing Cha Gheill as it’s spelled, or even just using it at all.
6. Someone struggling to get past the arc student card readers.
We’re gonna cut the frosh some slack on this one though. Honestly, fuck those things.
7. Everyone who posts a picture of three tri-coloured objects on Overheard.
Frosh, no one cares.
8. Any person, or persons, wearing severely mismatched clothing.
For many frosh, this will be their first time doing laundry. They believe the machines can smell their fear and will opt to stay away for as long as possible.
9. Everyone asking what else they can get for under $8.75 at Tim’s.
You only buy a panini, two coffees, 3 cookies, a muffin, and 10 Timbits if you’re using a meal equiv.
10. Lastly, anyone who answers when you yell “Hey Frosh”.
Maybe the easiest way of all, just call out and watch who turns.
I’m hoping these in-depth tips will help the upper years identify frosh when they no doubt want to say hello and come into our parties.