At 1:55pm on January 11th, two students sitting half-asleep in a MECH323 lecture formed an unbreakable bond after discovering that were both browsing popular social media platform Reddit. Dhamn Daniels was taking notes on gear design, particularly related to the addendum and dedendum circles on the gear teeth, when he decided to take a quick study break and check the recent updates on /r/hiphopheads, the hip-hop forum within Reddit. What he thought would be a mere glance turned into a 25 minute romp through the entirety of the site, browsing other subreddits such as /r/canada, /r/movies, /r/dragonsfuckingcars, and even /r/news.
Little did Dhamn know, another student, Brian Bodluck was also browsing Reddit in the row behind him. Brian, a savvy internet user and self proclaimed ‘King of Solitaire’, was sneakin some /r/gonewild private time in the back row when he caught Dhamn redditing away. Brian gasped, in shock and awe that someone else has stumbled upon ‘his secret little website’. A redditor is rarely caught in the wild, and a deep fraternal bond exists between those who meet in the real world.
Soon after Brian’s revelation, Dhamn turned around to stretch his back, and noticed that Brian was also reading some comments on Reddit, using popular Reddit phone app Alien Blue. Despite being more of a Bacon Reader fan himself, immediately knew that he had met his soulmate. He made eye contact for a brief, tender moment, but felt too nervous to make first contact. While Dhamn delayed his reaction in an attempt to build up his confidence, Brian sat silently, daydreaming of one day meeting this mysterious brotherly figure.
Unbeknownst to Brian and Dhamn, Reddit is the 6th most popular website in Canada, and in the top 25 most visited websites in the world. The website, established in 2005, has 8 billion pageviews every month. Celebrities such as Bill Gates, Elon Musk, and even President Barack Obama have participated in question-and-answer events on the website. Due to the private and personal nature of an individual’s Reddit account, most users are deluded into thinking that no one they know uses the site.
After 5 minutes of deep contemplation, Dhamn finally decided to make the first move. He turned around, staring Brian deep in his optic stems, and moved his head down along horizontal axis, what some would refer to as a ‘nod’. After some situational analysis, Brian remembered how social cues work and reciprocated, with a mild shake of the head, so subtle it could almost be mistaken for a shiver.
After class, Brian and Dhamn got to talking- they realized they both have sub-2 minute high scores in Solitaire. They made plans to meet up after class to try and compete for fastest run. Maybe things got a bit too comfortable in Brian’s bedroom. Maybe Dhamn learned things about himself he never before realized. Maybe they at last could play a two- player card game, like Go Fish, or Texas Hold Em. Maybe Brian and Dhamn are just pseudonyms for your parents, reader of this article. Maybe…
Maybe this is how I met your fathers.