I have a simple dream: to be a robot. This is something I’ve wanted all my life. I’ve hit the majority of the main robotic points: emotionally cold, devoid of social grace, and a lack of consideration for things not related to computation, algorithms, or charging up my battery. I identify as a robot, but no one respects this choice.

The problem is that I’m technically still human, and others have this expectation for me to think like them. I don’t know how, and I shouldn’t be expected to. Don’t come asking me about colour coordination, or how to ask someone out. Ask me about mathematical proofs, physics theorems or things about circuitry! But no, you people, you disgustingly emotional people, want to talk about impractical, unexciting things like that guy in your one class or some party. The only interesting thing I’ve heard in days, is when you tripped and face planted; at least I could calculate your motion and impact velocity. Of course when I outputted that information you experienced something which someone later pointed out was anger about ‘not inquiring after your health’ or some animalistic concern like that. I didn’t even realize you were giving me the silent treatment until about a week later, when someone else brought it up. I just thought you’d finally realized that your conversation doesn’t interest me. What a shame it will be when that pointless one-sided banter starts up again.

Sometimes, I experience lower extrema for my robotic hopes though. (The fact I have hope is unwanted enough. Ideally, it could just flat line and I would awaken, finally completely superior to you humans). But then it’s the little things that pick me up. Things like websites that require verification that I’m not a robot. I always fail those, and then my dream is reawakened. I’m a robot; it’s what I am. I was born as a robot in a human body. Just accept me so I can finish my transformation and happily make computations without humanly hindrances.