Have you ever had an ex who just would not stop talking to you? Have you ever experienced texts that just would not stop? Example shown below:
2:00 am :Hey
2:02 am: Hey
2:04 am: Hey
2:10 am: I miss you
4:15 pm: Honestly fuck you
11:43 pm: Hey babe sorry for earlier what I meant was can I fuck you
11:58 pm: No? Ok then
7:03 pm: I know you’re busy since you haven’t been answering my texts. I’ll make it short. I just wanted to know if you wanted me to come see you this weekend?
11:01 am: Hi, so this weekend is coming up. Have you made up your mind yet? Let me know.
5:12 pm: Hello, it’s me.
5:14 pm: I’m sorry I broke your heart. Can we talk?
If you have just laughed snidely at the thought of an ex bf/gf messaging you like this, you’re a terrible person. Also, we should probably be friends. If you have just realized you are currently doing this to someone, please stop immediately. Also please stop reading my article.
Moving forward, if you are receiving texts like this and simply are at a loss as to what to do, here are a few paths to follow:
-Block his/her number. Come on, use your willpower.
-Reply with: Hi, this is (your mom’s name). I am now using (your name)’s phone. I am concerned about you, sweetie.
-Reply with: You remind me of a squirrel
-Reply to every text with: The sex was bad
-Reply to no texts at all
-When you see them yell ‘Hi-five for friendship!’
-Refer to ‘Equal opportunity obscenities’ by Astor Turtle Paste
-Challenge them to a fencing duel. If they lose they must never talk to you again. If they win they must never talk to you again.
-Explain that they are simply not cute enough for you
The important thing is to remember that you should have fun with it.
You go glen coco.