University Population Stunned As It Reaches Collective Realization That Halloween Actually Isn’t Until Monday

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Remember when you were a little kid and no matter the night, you’d drop everything to run around outside dressed as a still-innocent. Harley Quinn? Aw man, those were the days. The men were still creepy except back in those days they were just suburban dads! In those early years, children would actually make sure to double-check the calendar before heading out to trick or treat, to avoid being the only kids running around at night in costume – the pre-teen equivalent of a ‘Fat L’.

A recent study completed by the Queen’s University Faculty of Behavioural Psychology has confirmed a unique phenomenon noticed amongst university students: They seem to only celebrate Halloween on the weekend, completely blind to the true date it occurs on. In fact, students just recently discovered that Halloween has not yet happened at Queen’s – a harrowing reminder of the effect of the university bubble.

First-year Computing major, Lee Davison, expressed his disappointment at missing Halloween’s real date for the first time in over ten years. A self-professed ‘Halloween geek’, Lee has been celebrating every year since he could walk on two feet. Clutching his spooky pumpkin spice latté he said, “I wanted to be true to the spirit of the holiday, but how can I do that when every single student dresses up for three days and none of them are for the actual date of Halloween? What’s next, Easter Wednesday?”

A recent club has sprung up on campus called the ‘Halloween Truthers’ who have made it their goal of convincing the student body that, in fact, Halloween is on a Monday this year. On the corner of University and Union, the stone Queen’s pillar (the one that everyone takes pictures on), had chalk writing on it asking the viewer to “Google the Citizen’s Hearing on When Halloween Actually Is”.

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