February 8, 2015 was deemed a tragic day to be remembered heavily by all Canadians, and of course, all North Americans and the entire human race. It was the day when the mysterious plague of violence reached the peaceful Eden on Earth, Queen’s University, and quickly turned its noble residences into a bunch of bloodthirsty monsters. I mean, seriously! Dude, how can it hurt like such a bitch to be hit by a fucking snowball! Ouch, hey, stop it you monsters! I’m just trying to get over to Golden Words’ office, not join this brutal barbarian snowfight!
Ok, those of you who are luck and lazy enough to stay in your warm rooms and away from this violent incident, just for your information, here’s what the entire thing was. What came this year with the snow was not the usual peace, calmness, comfort and purity of winter. Instead, fell with the crystal snowflakes were the devilish desire of violence. In the past few weeks, bloody events never seen in mankind’s history took place all over Canada, including a thousand-person snowfight at the University of Toronto resulting in terrifying outcomes from many broken fingernails to dangerous cold and frostbites. What a disaster to our contemporary peaceful world! No wonder there are already rumors of The End is Nigh!
Queen’s University, with its brave tricolour guardian angels, managed to resist such evil power longer than elsewhere, yet darkness still came eventually. On February 8, 2015, a snowfight was started on the Nixon Field where countless good men and women of our great school were wasted, half-buried in snow laughing madly under the control of this evil power. However, the good news is, although still unable to determine the conspirators behind this widespread horror, Golden Words’ professionals managed to constrain such evil power to within the site of its first outbreak. Queen’s students should be warned that if you spot any cold body buried in snowballs or a creepy looking snowman on the Nixon Field, do not attempt to approach. We can’t save you once you step into the Nixon Field. Useful tips to save your ass in this time of crisis: stay calm and sing Frozen!
Editor’s note: meanwhile this article was submitted to Golden Words, some guy cancelled the facebook event for the Snowfight. There was some argument on YikYak where people were upset at something about the Snowfight, but Golden Words does not know or care enough about this event.