Volkswagen CEO admits to planning World Apocalypse


GW: Were you aware that there is a gaping hole in our ozone layer…?
Ex-CEO of VW: I naturally learned about it. German schules are very gut. 
GW: Did you know that this hole is caused by carbon dioxide emissions?
Ex-CEO of VW: Why, yes *smiles* *chuckles*.
GW: Do you realize you have compromised our planet forever?
Ex-CEO of VW: Thank you!
GW: Did you purposely lie about the test results from your cars?
Ex-CEO of VW: Lies are subjective truths. I purposely announced subjective truths. 
GW: What was your reasoning behind making and selling cars that will destroy the planet?
Ex-CEO of VW: WW2 didn’t work out as planned.
GW: Are you distressed by all the press about your ex-company cheating regulations for gas emissions? 
Ex-CEO of VW: Press is always good. It reminds me of propaganda from the good old days. 
GW: How long have you been planning this?
Ex-CEO of VW: Since the day I was born into the glorious country of Deutschland. 
GW: Will going to jail be worth it to you?
Ex-CEO of VW: The World Apocalypse is very close to my heart. Stepping away from Volkswagen was nothing to me. Going to jail will be nothing to me. I am simply glad to have played my part in the World Apocalypse. That will be all.