Golden Words Web Exclusives

A Johnson Street resident has not changed his bongwater since moving out of res in April, leaving onlookers to speculate how long it will take before his bong becomes a filthy as his room. Todd Wilhelm (Sci ’22), has done basically nothing since finishing his spring exams, content to just “bum around” Kingston for four full months. The public first...
Eager to feel the wind in her hair and the sun on her cheeks, Ursula Hamm, 67, boldly enrolled to become an exam proctor in the basement of Jeffrey Hall. In search of exhilaration in her otherwise monotonous life, Hamm was ecstatic to hear that after a vigorous and relentless interview session, she had made the cut. “This is...
After  banning smoking and vaping on all campus grounds, Queen's University administrators awoke to find the university a total ghost town. Thousands of students left the previous night, unable to tolerate the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal. Reporters that followed the exodus of students said they have situated in a camp outside of the downtown transfer point, bumming smokes from...
As Easter celebrations come to an end this weekend and chocolate easter egg prices hit an all time low, local Jewish friend Matt Cohen has taken to Facebook to remind people that Passover is also a thing that happens every year around this time. "Just a few more days of Matzah!" Matt exclaimed in his post, without explaining what matzah...
KINGSTON – A group of local 1st graders sat out of the Parish Egg Hunt this year, after reportedly being too stoned from the previous day’s festivities. The 7-year-olds stayed home instead, eating through the rest of last year's egg stash and some of Kyle’s leftover buds. Penelope, age 7, explained how none of the gang felt like going to...