Golden Words Web Exclusives

It was recently announced that after a lengthy period of soul searching and legal deliberation that the government of the United States of America will be changing the lyrics of its nation anthem The Star Spangled Banner by replacing the line "o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave" to "o'er the land of the fees...
With Christmas almost upon us, Santa is getting busy in his factory getting toys ready for all the good boys and girls. To be clear when I say Santa is getting busy, I mean his elves are. With the recent Ontario College strike, elves of all ages were inspired to protest against their “sub-elvish” working conditions. There have been...
After a semester's worth of slacking off, looking at memes and showing up to less than half the lectures, Chad McNickel decided to top it off with a constructive USAT to help out his sweet politics prof Mr. Bellingdon. Golden Words correspondents interviewed some classmates of Mcnickel. "Yeah that Chad is an ass" one peer said. "All he does is...
We promise we're not bad people.  We only did a couple marijuanas with Trevor.  We didn't even inhale.  We'll never do it again.  Please just don't tell my mom and dad.  If they take away my allowance I'll have to get a job.
We've all been there. One moment you're sleeping soundly, and the next Chips Ahoy! are all that your brain can think of. You wake up in a cold sweat, knowing only that cookies, good as they are, won't restore your energy the way some classic REM sleep will. It can be difficult for some people to cope with the stress...