Welfare: A Useless Embarrassment

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The only thing that is more embarrassing than being poor and/or disabled is being helped by the government through welfare or other forms of government intervention. Here, at the new and improved Golden Words, we realize that government sanctioned financial aid is on par with subscribing to other religions other than Christianity. There is nothing more dehumanizing than giving poor people the scraps of the strong, hard-working Canadians who are productive to society. 
The first thing you liberal minded people need to understand is that people below the low income cutoff line choose to be in poverty.Usually science isn’t our friend but this time, science can prove that being poor is a choice. We are also kind of confident enough to suggest that some people in wheelchairs maybe aren’t trying hard enough to get up and walk. Maybe they really can’t walk but how hard did they try to be able to say that they’re 100% certain that they can’t move their legs? No? C’mon, there has to be at least one imposter in a wheelchair who is faking a disability to get government benefits.
Everyone knows that your income is the valuation of how many hours a week you spend in church, how much red meat you eat, all while subtracting $10 for every time you masturbate. That is the income formula that the don’t teach the youngsters in school. If anything, the lack of proper education, which includes the teaching of creationist theory and home economics, has created a limp workforce of weak-willed arts students who hold their hands open for whatever benefits they can get their grubby hands on. How can the market be competitive if no one is in competition with one another? Our country is great because weak businesses are eliminated by better competitors. It’s almost like businesses evolve to satisfy the consumer demand. Oh. Hold on. I just received word that I’ve been fired for basically describing Darwin’s theory of evolution and I have to pack up my desk as soon as I’m done writing this article.
Have you ever took a critical look at the spending habits of poorer people? They only buy food, pay rent, replace clothing as needed and make payments towards their debts?! If they weren’t so fiscally irresponsible, they could spend their little money on stuff that makes sense. Sensical things to buy include farm animals, promotional items at Wal-Mart and high risk stocks.
A recent poll released by Fox News, who surveyed a single person at a Jeb Bush rally, said that  100% of respondents would find an AK-47 a more useful tool to combat income inequality than a welfare check. Unlike a welfare check, an AK-47 doesn’t disappear after you use it once. If we were able to equip the poor with weapons, they would be able to hunt their own food and protect their properties. It is 100% foolproof and in no way would fuel crime. Simply handing out guns doesn’t create criminals, handing out money does.
Ultimately, the redistributive welfare state targets the hard working, the people who made that choice not to be poor. Or maybe their parents chose not to be poor. Or maybe their parents’ parents made that choice not to be poor. Ok, somewhere along the family tree, someone chose not to be poor but they made a choice nevertheless. To take away someone else’s  wealth is an insult to their family name.
 

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