What the F*** Am I Doing With My Life? A Helpful Guide to Choosing Your Discipline


It is that time of years again boyz! Time to pick what discipline will eventually ruin your life, relationship, and probably maybe most likely get a job for you in the future. Choosing your discipline can be stressful, but fear not you sweet angel, I have written a helpful guide based on my own opinions to help guide you in your time of need.

You probably are cute. This discipline has a weirdly disproportionate amount of hot people in. Hot girls, hot guys- it’s freaky weird. Maybe you learn to balance your online and in person appeal in Civil the same way they learn to balance things into equaling zero. You are like the Drake of eng. Sexy, subtle and a little overrated.

Do you like hikes? Maybe nature? Glamping without the glamour? Rocks? Probably this is for you. Nature is calling baby, get out into that wild. You have to remember a lot of rocks, and you take some course about fossils and shit I think. But overall, pretty outdoorsy and not a bad choice at the end of the day.

Chem eng is all fun and games until you hit fourth year. Chem is pretty much a standard engineering degree, you do some labs, you wear a lab coat you can double as a sexy scientist halloween costume. LIT. Except then all of a sudden you hit fourth year and the wilds of 470. BUCKLE UP KIDS. Your life is Prof Mody’s now. At least you’ll get some great instagram content for your time.

Eng Chem
Kind of exactly like chem eng, except way more fucking nerdy. If you love to learn, and you love the theoretics of chemistry, this shit is probably for you. You will have a lot of work. Like a lot. And maybe it will be worth it? I don’t know, who the fuck even chooses this discipline anymore? Is this even still a thing?

Eng Phys
Did you want to be king of the nerds? This is the social ladder to the top. You will live in Stirling Hall. That’s it. Don’t bother renting a house, you just live in Stirling now. Sucks to suck. But maybe you like that pendulum thing a lot, a lot. Would you marry it? I bet you would if you were in Eng Phys.

OK – simmer down eng beauties, because it is about to go the fuck down. Mining engineering is the creme de la crop of engineering disciplines. You get to blow up rocks, travel the world, and meet sweet hunniiiiiis during your off shift rotation in Bali. There is some work involved, but the sweet cash money and job opportunities abound will make it work.

Do you smoke marijuana? How much on a monthly basis? Weekly? Daily? Chill ok you’re in. Mech is a fun fam, super chill and a great community. Extracurriculars for mech kids are design teams, green darts, and wheeling girls at Clark Hall Pub Trivia, and sometimes at Euchre. These guys know the meaning of work hard, play hard.

Circuits, Bain Lounge, Google. Those are the keys of the E in ECE. This is a really great sector to be in right now, technology fuels the future and all that garbage. You think you’re smart, dress well, and have a weird hipster-y vibe? Elec is probably a place you can find solace a someone who is literally identical to you. Your guy girl ratio is probably whack though, so maybe try dating outside of the discipline.

I think comp eng is like, the same as Elec? It’s the C in ECE, and I think you maybe type more on your computer? Also I am pretty sure they give you the secret knowledge of growing a beard, because holy shit everyone seems to have one?

Apple Math
All you kidlets need to know about Apple: numbers are a social construct, letters are the future of mathematics, and 0+0 almost never equals 0.