This week is the most important week for the young Eng Frosh as they are poached by the 10ish engineering disciplines at Queen’s. These nights feature the Profs and alumni of the said disciplines accompanied by their most charismatic/high GPA students. Here at Golden Words, we believe this to be dangerously misleading so we’re hear to set the record straight
Life is hard enough, go into Civil.
Life is hard, but you don’t want to have to tell people you’re going into Civil. You like first year; the classes weren’t too hard but you don’t want to push yourself too much. You’re not too sure what you want to do with your life but Engineering looks like a safe degree, and Mechanical is probably the safest discipline in terms of employment.
CHEM ENG CHEM
Were you super excited when you made goo in Mod 2? Do you want to make more goo for the rest of your life? What about meth? Then this is the option for you!
So you’re thinking of becoming a mining Bro (and no, Broet isnt a word girls, you’re still a Bro). Second year you’ll have tons of fun, but seriously second year is as easy as 2nd year Engineering gets. Mining in 2nd year is a lot of drinking, and a lot like drinking, but you’re borrowing fun from later. However, 3rd year is the hangover year, you will disappear and do more work than you thought was possible. It will be okay because on some weekends you go to the bombing range and will be mixing explosives and making small craters. Apart from the academics, there is a reason the word Bro is used, they actually know how to have fun.
Hey you, I can see you right now, thinking man I want to be in a discipline that sounds more complicated than mech but isn’t as hard as any of the Engineering Sciences. This is for you. You’ll work like half as hard as Apple, with twice the employability, and four fifths of the prestige. It’s the Soup of the Day of engineering degrees.
Does licking rocks excite you sexually? Did magnetite make more than just the nail stand up? Do yellow hard hats make you wanna wear even more protection? If you answered yes to all of the above, you might consider becoming a geological engineer.
I know you; the eternal quest for validation burns deeply in your heart. You think you’re smart, you want a challenge, APSC 112 wasn’t enough for you. YOU’RE WRONG! Don’t be stupid, be smart. Go into MECH. I don’t care that you wanted to do the ELEC option, pick MECH, I don’t mean MECH option, I mean go into the MECH discipline. Its easier, you’ll actually get a job and you won’t hate your life for the remainder of your university career. But if you need to be validated as “the best” and “soooooo smart” then literally fuck yourself by going into Engineering Physics.
Do you want to learn why 0+0=0, like REALLY learn why? Do you want to speak english and have no-one, not even other engineers understand you? Then Apple Math is for you. In Apple Math you’ll gain a deeper understanding into every mathematical tool used in Engineering, but gain zero recognition for it. This lack of recognition carries into the job market; no-one knows what the fuck Apple Math is.