Homecoming means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Some would say that HoCo is a time of rejoicing with your fellow gaels, celebrating with pancakes and hard liquor. Others think that this upcoming weekend is a moment of reflection, where we remind ourselves of the past weeks by once again getting blackout drunk and forgetting about our responsibilities. I, along with many of the Queen’s community, know that this age old festival of red, blue and gold is most importantly about getting so fucked up that we flip a police car.
What would the the Great Roman Empire be without Julius Caesar? What would the United States of America be without Denny’s? What would Homecoming be without a good old police car flipping?
C’mon guys, we only have one shot at this each year, one day where so many people are so intoxicated that enough of us think overturning a car of one of Kingston’s finest is a good idea.
As you sip on your morning coffee and take cute little nibbles into that cheese croissant, you’d never imagine yourself pushing against the side of a cop car like a common hoodlum! Of course not! But in just a few days, when that seventh limearita hits you like a sedan, you’ll be trying to flip one in no time.
Days from now, when each and every student drinks their body mass in alcohol, who will be the first one to lay their shaking, sweaty hands on a 2 tonne mess of machinery? Who will be the bold, the brave, the god among us who plants their feet into the road and begins to rock a cop car like a gorilla trying to bed a wild grizzly bear?
Queen’s lives and breathes for tradition. We are gaels, we bleed tricolour, we don’t know any of the words to the oil thigh. I’d say that this homecoming, we have one more tradition to uphold: somewhere, somehow, a police car will lie wheels to the sky, surrounded by incoherent students, like a tribe of neanderthals taking down a woolly mammoth.
Life is about taking risks, then waking up the next morning hungover and realizing you done fucked up. This coming hoco, I implore every single one of you to follow these words and let your inner gael shine through: let’s flip a police car.