Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Woolf?


I’m sure for many people Woolf’s past email addressing the latest installment in the Homecoming-May-or-May-Not-be-a-Thing saga is a distant memory. A mere warning that holds no actual fear. In this email, bearing the terrifying title, “Important Message from Principal Woolf,” Woolf expressed his disappointment at the hardcore partying that marked the beginning of Frosh Week. 
At the time, many students simply believed that Woolf was, and still likely is, just disappointed that he is never invite to any parties. This theory was perhaps best exemplified when, this past week, Woolf organized a press conference at Grant Hall to “drive the message home.” Rather than giving a stern, ‘I’m very disappointed in you’ talk, the worst kind of anger, Woolf instead chose to take to the mic with an uncharacteristic low hat and gold chain, the principal instructed the Kingston police officer at his side to “drop me a beat” and then proceeded to spit the following instruction to students:

So it seems y’all think this a game
But the Gaels ain’t here, it’s just y’all and it’s insane
Frosh come in and think they fuckin’ own this town
Now it’s time for Woolf to come in and give a beat down
So give me a muthafuckin’ reason
And I’ll string yo ass up so high they say I’m comittin’ treason
This shit be ice cold, but son I can freeze em
I’m still in the game and it’s my season, bruh 
Legend of the fall, bring the muthafuckin’ ruckus
I know that shit old, and so am I, but fuck this
And fuck y’all, don’t you know who shit in these woods
Fools be flippin’ cars like they forgot its Woolf’s hoods
So listen up, yo, if you can even think straight
Next time police show up they be blastin’ my mixtape
To bust up all your immature shit
Next time you party check yo back and better think quick
Send these frosh on the run when they hear the beat is droppin’
but if y’all disrespect I might have to bring some coffins
so watch your step and remember this song
you ever cross me again, D Woolf will be fuckin’ yo mom
Shoutout to KPD keep hustlin y’alll”

At press time, “4am in Kingston” was available on soundcloud but no word on Woolf’s highly anticipated follow up to his debut mixtape Young Woolf Spitz.