Do you have an opinion you want heard? Do you stand by your opinions? Are you able to project your voice? We are seeking someone who is passionate about crushing children’s dreams. required skills include: knowledge of rules of a variety of sports, loud voice, ability to fight parents (both verbally and physically), vulnerable sectors check, must have no restrictions on the distance to schools, playgrounds, sports centers and other locations in which children occupy. Must be able to work evenings and weekends. Please send your resume and cover letter to [email protected] to apply. 

Statement from Lenny Douglas, Ottawa Children’s Heckler: “When Lizzie Maguire sang “This is what dreams are made of” she was referring to being a children’s heckler. This job is truly the best thing to happen to me, for so long I thought that I would not be able to make an impact on the world because I’m a deplorable human with a commerce degree, but I was wrong! Nothing makes me feel better and more fulfilled than watching a child succumb to the reality that their parents have been lying to them about being talented. I’ve even had parents thank me for encouraging their kids to quit a sport that is putting their whole family into debt. This job provides instant gratification.”

                                                                                                                                                          -Mitch Marners Dad